Know Your Value(s)
Joayne’s Guide to stay sane, Chapter 1
Identify Your Core Values: The Foundation of Emotional Resilience & Aligned Living
Your core personal values shape every decision you make, guide your relationships, and influence your emotional wellbeing — often without you realizing it. When you know your values clearly, you move through the world with more intention, confidence, and inner steadiness.
Why Personal Values Matter (More Than You Think)
Indulge me with a hiking metaphor.
Think of those paint blazes on a trail as your values. In the thick forest, when the path curves and you’re not totally sure where to go, those markers guide you forward. That’s exactly what your values do when life feels complicated or emotionally dense: they orient you back to integrity and aligned choices.
Research in positive psychology shows that people who consciously identify and act on their values experience:
greater emotional resilience
lower levels of stress
clearer decision-making
stronger, more connected relationships
Your values are not abstract ideals. They’re your internal compass.
How Misaligned Values Show Up in the Body
And when your values aren’t honored?
They rub — like a blister starting in your boot. First, it’s a small hotspot, a tiny “something feels off.” If ignored, it becomes a burn, and eventually it slows you down or pushes you toward a reaction you don’t love.
Your body often knows before your mind does. It can feel like:
tension, anger, or irritability
internal conflict
“hot spots” of stress or resentment
fatigue or heaviness
So before you begin any “hike,” check in with yourself:
• What matters most to me right now?
• What’s my goal in this moment or relationship?
• And if something starts to rub, how will I respond with care?
A Personal Example: “Work Toward a Yes”
Years ago, with a powerful relationship coach, I did an activity to flesh out my core values. One of my enduring favorites: Work toward a yes.
So last summer, when my 8-year-old asked to eat dinner on the front steps instead of the table, my reflexive “no” softened. Living my value meant:
pausing
listening
asking a couple gentle questions
noticing: Is “no” really necessary here?
And the moment transformed.
She felt heard, and I stayed aligned with myself. Everyone wins.
This is values work in real life — simple, imperfect, human.
The values development activity was powerful enough that I built a simple template for you.
Download it here.
And — because I know myself — as an extrovert, I’m so much more likely to follow through when I do this kind of reflection with someone else. If that’s you too, book a session with me and we’ll walk through it together.
Until December 16, 2025 you can Buy One, Gift One for an intuitive session with me.