A helpful tool from 2020

Note: first published April 2020. There seem to be a few lessons here and thus it’s worth publishing. We made it through what was unfathomable. The shifting uncertainties just kept coming (ahem, still relevant?) and the WWW Check in takes but a moment and yields such insights, it’s a free uplift for ourselves!

Hmmm…

How do I even write an opening line to you?  In an upside-down world where nothing is like it was – with most of these changes forced upon us —opening small talk and a gentle entry into conversation seems either trite or impossible. 
 
So let me just acknowledge that. And you. 
 
You are doing a tremendous job right now. I know this to be true—whether you’re working the front lines (huge thank you as I cannot even comprehend what you are facing), working from home in unexpected isolation or with too many “coworkers” while you learn the ropes of homeschooling or not suddenly not working and managing the uncertainty that entails. 
 
This was not planned. This has thrown a wrench in your routine. This has waylaid fun plans and activities that renew and inspire you. This has added duties and burdens in ways you never dreamed possible and certainly aren’t in your wheelhouse. It has led to grief not only for things but also for people as we bear witness to those near and far who have fallen victim to the pandemic. 
 
And yet, I know that you are still here. Still waking up and making it through the day, caring for your loved ones, supporting your mission at work or home and adapting to every twist and turn that comes your way.
 
Whatever you are facing, you are doing it and doing it to the best of your ability. And you need to pause and honor that for yourself. 
 
This is where the little gremlin in your head might say something like “Yeah, right, I’m failing all over the place.” “They are doing it perfectly, just look at their facebook posts of family fun.” “You’re not doing anything special, we are all stuck in this.” and “You are so terrible, you could at least get the closet organized since you don’t have a commute.”
 
Which prompts me to remind you of The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, one of which is “Always do your best.” And before that voice gets even louder, let me quickly add that he wisely reminds us that our “best” is variable by the situation and our resources in the moment. And it should never be compared to someone else’s efforts. 
 
[Take that, you judgy little gremlin!]
 
So be sure to give yourself some grace and stop comparing yourself to others. Each one of us is navigating the myriad of ripple effects that are unique to our own contextual factors, identity and relationships. 
 
This pandemic is exposing the same systemic issues of racism, inequities and marginalization that we have been experiencing and perpetuating for years. It is no time to stop our work and yet, to do our work, we have to invest in words, actions and habits that will feed our soul enough to do a bit more than simply survive. 
 
Pause. Take that in.
 
And if your gremlin jumped in with “Sounds great but totally not feasible” then I counter by offering this 4 minute exercise. 
 
The WWW Check-in is short and simple framework that you can use with yourself and others in your life. 
 
Ask: 
What’s worrying you?
            Name it, haul out those fears and anxieties and don’t let them live in the corners of your mind and heart. When we name and face them they have less power to intimidate.

What’s working well?
What are the things that are supporting and sustaining you? Amidst the challenges, what is actually going well?  Noticing and naming the things that have positive impact will reinforce them and help you prioritize them. 

What are you wanting?
            Say it. Dream it. Sometimes the best ideas come from an exasperated gasp of desire for the impossible. Let it loose now and then later tackle how to make it a reality.
 
I challenge you to take out a piece of paper write now, set a timer and free write for 1 minute on each question, pen to paper until the timer goes off. Just let it flow and don’t censor yourself. 
 
Now reflect and ask:
What can you learn from your own wisdom?
What steps can you take to further support yourself?
How can you reframe any of your seemingly impossible wants into something a little bit possible?
 
And with grace and space for mistakes, learning and growth commit to just one action that will support you and your ability to keep doing this hard thing we are living. 

You can do this. You already are.